NB: Bacalah kisah berikut ini secara teliti dan kritis. Cobalah selami apa yang tersirat.-hh] Osho's grandparents, Nani and Nana For most of my very early years I lived with my mother's parents. Those years are unforgettable. Even if I reach to Dante's paradise I will still remember those years. A small village, poor people, but my grandfather--I mean my mother's father--was a generous man. He was poor, but rich in his generosity. He gave to each and everyone whatsoever he had. I learned the art of giving from him; I have to accept it. I never saw him say no to any beggar or anybody. I called my mother's father "Nana"; that's the way the mother's father is called in India. My mother's mother is called "Nani." I used to ask my grandfather, "Nana, where did you get such a beautiful wife?" My grandmother looked more Greek than Indian.... Perhaps there was some Greek blood in her. No race can claim purity. The Indians particularly should not claim any purity of blood--the Hunas, the Moguls, the Greeks and many others have attacked, conquered and ruled India. They have mixed themselves in the Indian blood, and it was so apparent with my grandmother. Her features were not Indian, she looked Greek, and she was a strong woman, very strong. My Nana died when he was not more than fifty. My grandmother lived till eighty and she was fully healthy. Even then nobody thought she was going to die. I promised her one thing, that when she died I would come, and that would be my last visit to the family. She died in 1970. I had to fulfill my promise. For my first years I knew my Nani as my mother; those are the years when one grows. This circle* is for my Nani. My own mother came after that; I was already grown up, already made in a certain style. And my grandmother helped me immensely. My grandfather loved me, but could not help me much. He was so loving, but to be of help more is needed--a certain kind of strength. He was always afraid of my grandmother. He was, in a sense, a henpecked husband. When it comes to the truth, I am always true. He loved me, he helped me...what can I do if he was a henpecked husband? Ninety-nine point nine percent of husbands are, so it is okay. [glimps02] [*Note: circle: reminiscences of a series of events, which are now seen to be interconnected, forming a circle] This too is worth noting: that ninety years ago, in India, Nani had had the courage to fall in love. She remained unmarried up till the age of twenty-four. That was very rare. I asked her once why she had remained unmarried for so long. She was such a beautiful woman...I just jokingly told her that even the king of Chhatarpur, the state where Khajuraho is, might have fallen in love with her. She said, "It is strange that you should mention it, because he did. I refused him, and not only him but many others too." In those days in India, girls were married when they were seven, or at the most nine years of age. Just the fear of love...if they are older they may fall in love. But my grandmother's father was a poet; his songs are still sung in Khajuraho and nearby villages. He insisted that unless she agreed, he was not going to marry her to anybody. As chance would have it, she fell in love with my grandfather. I asked her, "That is even stranger: you refused the king of Chhatarpur, and yet you fell in love with this poor man. For what? He was certainly not a very handsome man, nor extraordinary in any other way; why did you fall in love with him?" She said, "You are asking the wrong question. Falling has no 'why' to it. I just saw him, and that was it. I saw his eyes, and a trust arose in me that has never wavered." I had also asked my grandfather, "Nani says she fell in love with you. That's okay on her part, but why did you allow the marriage to happen?" He said, "I am not a poet or a thinker, but I can recognize beauty when I see it." I never saw a more beautiful woman than my Nani. I myself was in love with her, and loved her throughout her whole life.... I am fortunate in many ways, but I was most fortunate in having my maternal grandparents...and those early golden years. [glimps06] I was born in a family which belongs to a very small section of Jainism...it follows a madman who must have been just a little bit less mad than me. I cannot say more mad than me. I am going to talk about his two books, which are not translated in English, not even into Hindi, because they are untranslatable. I don't think that he is ever going to have any international audience. Impossible. He believes in no language, no grammar, nothing whatsoever. He speaks exactly like a madman. His book is Shunya Svabhava--"The Nature of Emptiness." It is just a few pages, but of tremendous significance. Each sentence contains scriptures, but very difficult to understand. You will naturally ask how could I understand him. In the first place just as Martin Buber was born into a Hassid family, I was born into this madman's tradition. His name is Taran Taran. It is not his real name, but nobody knows his real name. Taran Taran simply means "The Savior." That has become his name. I have breathed him from my very childhood, listened to his songs, wondered what he meant. But a child never cares about the meaning...the song was beautiful, the rhythm was beautiful, the dance was beautiful, and it is enough. One needs to understand such people only if one is grown up, otherwise, if from their very childhood they are surrounded by the milieu they will not need to understand and yet deep down in their guts they will understand. I understand Taran Taran--not intellectually, but existentially. Moreover I also know what he is talking about. Even if I had not been born into a family of his followers I would have understood him. I have understood so many different traditions and it is not that I have been born into all of them...I have understood so many madmen that anybody could go mad just by making an effort to understand them! But just look at me, they have not affected me at all.... They have remained somewhere below me. I have remained transcendental to them all. Still, I would have understood Taran Taran. I may not have come into contact with him, that is possible, because his followers are very few, just a few thousand, and found only in the middle parts of India. And they are so afraid because of their being in such a minority, that they don't call themselves the followers of Taran Taran, they call themselves Jainas. Secretly they believe, not in Mahavira [pendiri agama Jaina, hidup sezaman dengan Buddha Gautama.-hh] as the rest of the Jainas believe, but in Taran Taran, the founder of their sect. Jainism itself is a very small religion; only three million people believe in it. There are two main sects: the Digambaras, and the Svetambaras. The Digambaras believe that Mahavira lived naked, and was naked. The word digambara means "sky clad"; metaphorically it means "the naked." This is the oldest sect. The word svetambara means the "white clad," and the followers of this sect believe that although Mahavira was naked he was covered by the gods in an invisible white cloth...this is a compromise just to satisfy the Hindus. The followers of Taran Taran belong to the Digambara sect, and they are the most revolutionary of the Jainas. They don't even worship the statues of Mahavira; their temples are empty, signifying the inner emptiness. It would have been almost impossible to have come to know Taran if not for the chance that I was born into a family who believed in him. But I thank God, it was worth the trouble to be born into that family. All the troubles can be forgiven just for this one thing, that they acquainted me with a tremendous mystic. His book Shunya Svabhava says only one thing again and again, just like a madman. You know me, you can understand. I have been saying the same thing again and again for twenty-five years...I've said again and again "Awake!" That's what he does in Shunya Svabhava. [books14] Nana used to go to the temple every morning, yet he never said, "Come with me." He never indoctrinated me. That is what is great...not to indoctrinate. It is so human to force a helpless child to follow your beliefs. But he remained untempted--yes, I call it the greatest temptation. The moment you see someone dependent on you in any way, you start indoctrinating. He never even said to me, "You are a Jaina." I remember perfectly--it was the time that the census was being taken. The officer had come to our house. He made many inquiries about many things. They asked about my grandfather's religion; he said, "Jainism." They then asked about my grandmother's religion. My Nana said, "You can ask her yourself. Religion is a private affair. I myself have never asked her." What a man! My grandmother answered, "I do not believe in any religion whatsoever. All religions look childish to me." The officer was shocked. Even I was taken aback. She does not believe in any religion at all! In India to find a woman who does not believe in any religion at all is impossible. But she was born in Khajuraho, perhaps into a family of Tantrikas [penganut Tantra.-hh], who have never believed in any religion. They have practiced meditation but they have never believed in any religion. It sounds very illogical to a Western mind: meditation without religion? Yes...in fact, if you believe in any religion you cannot meditate. Religion is an interference in your meditation. Meditation needs no God, no heaven, no hell, no fear of punishment, and no allurement of pleasure. Meditation has nothing to do with mind; meditation is beyond it, whereas religion is only mind, it is within mind. I know Nani never went to the temple, but she taught me one mantra which I will reveal for the first time. It is a Jaina mantra, but it has nothing to do with Jainas as such. It is purely accidental that it is related to Jainism.... The mantra is so beautiful. It is going to be difficult to translate it, but I will do my best...or my worst. First listen to the mantra in its original beauty: Namo arihantanam namo namo Namo siddhanam namo namo Namo uvajjhayanam namo namo Namo loye savva sahunam namo namo Aeso panch nammukaro Savva pavappanasano Mangalam cha savvesam padhamam havai mangalam Arihante saranam pavajjhami Siddhe saranam pavajjhami Sahu saranam pavajjhami Namo arihantanam namo namo Namo siddhanam namo namo Namo uvajjhayanam namo namo Om, shantih, shantih, shantih.... Now my effort at translation: "I go to the feet of, I bow down to, the arihantas...." Arihanta is the name in Jainism, as arhat is in Buddhism, for one who has achieved the ultimate but cares nothing about anybody else. He has come home and turned his back on the world. He does not create a religion, he does not even preach, he does not even declare. Of course he has to be remembered first. The first remembrance is for all those who have known and remained silent. The first respect is not for words, but for silence. Not for serving others, but for the sheer achievement of one's self. It does not matter whether one serves others or not; that is secondary, not primary. The primary is that one has achieved one's self, and it is so difficult in this world to know one's self.... The Jainas call the person arihanta who has attained to himself and is so drowned, so drunk in the beautitude of his realization that he has forgotten the whole world. The word 'arihanta' literally means "one who has killed the enemy"--and the enemy is the ego. The first part of the mantra means, "I touch the feet of the one who has attained himself." The second part is: Namo siddhanam namo namo. This mantra is in Prakrit, not Sanskrit. Prakrit is the language of the Jainas; it is more ancient than Sanskrit. The very word 'sanskrit' means refined. You can understand by the word 'refined' there must have been something before it, otherwise what are you going to refine? 'Prakrit' means unrefined, natural, raw, and the Jainas are correct when they say their language is the most ancient in the world. Their religion too is the most ancient. The Hindu scripture Rigveda mentions the first master of the Jainas, Adinatha. That certainly means it is far more ancient than Rigveda. Rigveda is the oldest book in the world, and it talks about the Jaina tirthankara, Adinatha, with such respect that one thing is certain, that he could not have been a contemporary of the people writing Rigveda.... The mantra is in Prakrit, raw and unrefined. The second line is: Namo siddhanam namo namo--"I touch the feet of the one who has become his being." So, what is the difference between the first and the second? The arihanta never looks back, never bothers about any kind of service, Christian or otherwise. The siddha, once in a while holds out his hand to drowning humanity, but only once in a while, not always. It is not a necessity, it is not compulsory, it is his choice; he may or he may not. Hence the third: Namo uvajjhayanam namo namo..."I touch the feet of the masters, the uvajjhaya." They have achieved the same, but they face the world, they serve the world. They are in the world and not of it...but still in it. The fourth: Namo loye savva sahunam namo namo..."I touch the feet of the teachers." You know the subtle difference between a master and a teacher. The master has known, and imparts what he has known. The teacher has received from one who has known, and delivers it intact to the world, but he himself has not known. The composers of this mantra are really beautiful; they even touch the feet of those who have not known themselves, but at least are carrying the message of the masters to the masses. Number five is one of the most significant sentences I have ever come across in my whole life. It is strange that it was given to me by my grandmother when I was a small child. When I explain it to you, you too will see the beauty of it. Only she was capable of giving it to me. I don't know anybody else who had the guts to really proclaim it, although all Jainas repeat it in their temples. But to repeat is one thing; to impart it to one you love is totally another. "I touch the feet of all those who have known themselves"...without any distinction, whether they are Hindus, Jainas, Buddhists, Christians, Mohammedans. The mantra says, "I touch the feet of all those who have known themselves." This is the only mantra, as far as I know, which is absolutely nonsectarian. The other four parts are not different from the fifth, they are all contained in it, but it has a vastness which those others do not have. The fifth line must be written on all the temples, all the churches, irrespective of to whom they belong, because it says, "I touch the feet of all those who have known it." It does not say "who have known God." Even the "it" can be dropped: I am only putting "it" in the translation. The original simply means "touching the feet of those who have known"--no "it." I am putting "it" in just to fulfill the demands of your language; otherwise someone is bound to ask, "Known? Known what? What is the object of knowledge?" There is no object of knowledge; there is nothing to know, only the knower. This mantra was the only religious thing, if you can call it religious, given to me by my grandmother, and that too, not by my grandfather but by my grandmother...because one night I asked her. One night she said, "You look awake. Can't you sleep? Are you planning tomorrow's mischief?" I said, "No, but somehow a question is arising in me. Everybody has a religion, and when people ask me, 'To what religion do you belong?' I shrug my shoulders. Now, certainly shrugging your shoulders is not a religion, so I want to ask you, what should I say?" She said, "I myself don't belong to any religion, but I love this mantra, and this is all I can give you--not because it is traditionally Jaina, but only because I have known its beauty. I have repeated it millions of times and always I have found tremendous peace...just the feeling of touching the feet of all those who have known. I can give you this mantra; more than that is not possible for me." Now I can say that woman was really great, because as far as religion is concerned, everybody is lying: Christians, Jews, Jainas, Mohammedans--everybody is lying. They all talk of God, heaven and hell, angels and all kinds of nonsense, without knowing anything at all. She was great, not because she knew but because she was unable to lie to a child. Nobody should lie--to a child at least it is unforgivable. Children have been exploited for centuries just because they are willing to trust. You can lie to them very easily and they will trust you. If you are a father, a mother, they will think you are bound to be true. That's how the whole of humanity lives in corruption, in a thick mud, very slippery, a thick mud of lies told to children for centuries. If we can do just one thing, a simple thing: not lie to children, and to confess to them our ignorance, then we will be religious, and we will put them on the path of religion. Children are only innocence; leave them not your so-called knowledge. But you yourself must first be innocent, unlying, true, even if it shatters your ego--and it will shatter. It is bound to shatter. My grandfather never told me to go to the temple, to follow him. I used to follow him many times, but he would say, "Go away. If you want to go to the temple, go alone. Don't follow me." He was not a hard man, but on this point he was absolutely hard. I asked him again and again, "Can you give me something of your experience?" And he would always avoid it.... "Namo arihantanam namo namo Namo siddhanam namo namo Namo uvajjhayanam namo namo Namo loye savva sahunam namo namo Om, shantih, shantih, shantih...." What does it mean? It means "Om"--the ultimate sound of soundlessness. And he disappeared like a dewdrop in the first rays of the sun. There is only peace, peace, peace.... I am entering into it now.... Namo arihantanam namo namo.... I go to the feet of those who have known. I go to the feet of those who have achieved. I go to the feet of all who are masters. I go to the feet of all the teachers. I go to the feet of all who have ever known, Unconditionally. Om, shantih, shantih, shantih. [glimps05] My grandfather wanted the greatest astrologers in India to make my birth chart. Although he was not very rich--in fact not even rich, what to say of very rich, but in that village he was the richest person--he was ready to pay any price for the birth chart. He made the long journey to Varanasi and saw the famous men. Looking at the notes and dates my grandfather had brought, the greatest astrologer of them all said, "I am sorry, I can only make this birth chart after seven years. If the child survives then I will make his chart without any charge, but I don't think he will survive. If he does it will be a miracle, because then there is a possibility for him to become a buddha." My grandfather came home weeping. I had never seen tears in his eyes. I asked, "What is the matter?" He said, "I have to wait until you are seven. Who knows whether I will survive those years or not? Who knows whether the astrologer himself will survive, because he is so old. And I am a little concerned about you." I said, "What's the concern?" He said, "The concern is not that you may die, my concern is that you may become a buddha." I laughed, and amongst his tears he also started laughing. Then he himself said, "It is strange that I was worried. Yes, what is wrong in being a buddha?"... When I was seven an astrologer came to my grandfather's village searching for me. When a beautiful horse stopped in front of our house, we all rushed out. The horse looked so royal, and the rider was none other than one of the famous astrologers.... He said to me, "So you are still alive? I have made your birth chart. I was worried, because people like you don't survive long." My grandfather sold all the ornaments in the house just to give a feast for all the neighboring villages, to celebrate that I was going to become a buddha, and yet I don't think he even understood the meaning of the word 'buddha'. He was a Jaina and may not have even heard it before. But he was happy, immensely happy...dancing, because I was to become a buddha. At that moment I could not believe that he could be so happy just because of this word 'buddha'. When everyone had departed I asked him, "What is the meaning of 'buddha'?" He said, "I don't know, it just sounds good. Moreover I am a Jaina. We will find out from some Buddhist." In that small village there were no Buddhists, but he said, "Someday, when a passing Buddhist bhikkhu comes by, we will know the meaning." But he was so happy just because the astrologer had said that I was to become a buddha. He then said to me, "I guess 'buddha' must mean someone who is very intelligent." In Hindi buddhi means intelligence, so he thought 'buddha' meant the intelligent one. He came very close, he almost guessed right. Alas that he is not alive, otherwise he would have seen what being a buddha means--not the dictionary meaning, but an encounter with a living, awakened one. And I can see him dancing, seeing that his grandson has become a buddha. That would have been enough to make him enlightened! But he died. His death was one of my most significant experiences. Of that, later on. [glimps02] And to me he was not just a maternal grandfather. It is very difficult for me to define what he was to me. He used to call me Rajah--rajah means the king--and for those seven years he managed to have me live like a king. On my birthday he used to bring an elephant from a nearby town.... Elephants in India, in those days, were kept either by kings--because it is very costly, the maintenance, the food and the service that the elephant requires--or by saints. Two types of people used to have them. The saints could have elephants because they had so many followers. Just as the followers looked after the saint, they looked after the elephant. Nearby there was a saint who had an elephant, so for my birthday my maternal grandfather used to bring the elephant. He would put me on the elephant with two bags, one on either side, full of silver coins.... In my childhood, in India, notes had not appeared; pure silver was still used for the rupee. My grandfather would fill two bags, big bags, hanging on either side, with silver coins, and I would go around the village throwing the silver coins. That's how he used to celebrate my birthday. Once I started, he would come in his bullock cart behind me with more rupees, and he would go on telling me, "Don't be miserly--I am keeping enough. You cannot throw more than I have. Go on throwing!" Naturally, the whole village followed the elephant. It was not a big village either, not more than two or three hundred people in the whole village, so I would go around the village, the only street in the village. He managed in every possible way to give me the idea that I belonged to some royal family. [person27] In my Nani's village I was continuously either in the lake or in the river. The river was a little too far away, perhaps two miles, so I had to choose the lake more often. But once in a while I used to go to the river, because the quality of a river and a lake are totally different. A lake, in a certain way, is dead, closed, not flowing, not going anywhere at all, static. That's the meaning of death: it is not dynamic. The river is always on the go, rushing to some unknown goal, perhaps not knowing at all what that goal is, but it reaches, knowing or unknowing--it reaches the goal. The lake never moves. It remains where it is, dormant, simply dying, every day dying; there is no resurrection. But the river, howsoever small, is as big as the ocean, because sooner or later it is going to become the ocean. I have always loved the feel of the flow: just going, that flux, that continuous movement...aliveness. So, even though the river was two miles away, I used once in a while to go just to have the taste. [glimps27] I used to swim in the lake. Naturally my grandfather was afraid. He put a strange man to guard over me, in a boat. In that primitive village you cannot conceive what a "boat" meant. It is called a dongi. It is nothing but the hollowed-out trunk of a tree. It is not an ordinary boat. It is round, and that is the danger: unless you are an expert you cannot row it. It can roll at any moment. Just a little imbalance and you are gone forever. It is very dangerous. I learned balance through rowing a dongi. Nothing could be more helpful. I learned the "middle way" because you have to be exactly in the middle: this way, and you are gone; that way, and you are gone. You cannot even breathe, and you have to remain absolutely silent; only then can you row the dongi. [glimps03] During those first years when I lived with my grandfather, I was absolutely protected from punishment. He never said "Do this," or "Don't do that." On the contrary he put his most obedient servant, Bhoora, at my service, to protect me. Bhoora used to carry a very primitive gun with him. He used to follow me at a distance, but that was enough to frighten the villagers. That was enough to allow me to do whatsoever I wanted. Anything one could imagine...like riding on a buffalo backwards with Bhoora following.... In my village particularly, and all over India, nobody rides on a buffalo. The Chinese are strange people, and this person Lao Tzu was the strangest of all. But God knows, and only God knows, how I discovered the idea--even I don't know--to sit on a buffalo in the marketplace, backwards. I assume it was because I always liked anything absurd.... Those early years--if they could be given to me again, I would be ready to be born again. But you know, and I know, nothing can be repeated. That's why I am saying that I would be ready to be born again; otherwise who wants to, even though those days were full of beauty.... I was so mischievous. I cannot live without it; it is my nourishment. I can understand the old man, my grandfather, and the trouble my mischief caused him. The whole day he would sit on his gaddi--as the seat of a rich man is called in India--listening less to his customers, and more to the complainers. But he used to say to them, "I am ready to pay for any damage he has done, but remember, I am not going to punish him." Perhaps his very patience with me, a mischievous child...even I could not tolerate it. If a child like that was given to me and for years...my God! Even for minutes and I would throw the child out of the door forever. Perhaps those years worked a miracle for my grandfather; that immense patience paid. He became more and more silent. I saw it growing every day. Once in a while I would say, "Nana, you can punish me. You need not be so tolerant." And, can you believe it, he would cry! Tears would come to his eyes, and he would say, "Punish you? I cannot do that. I can punish myself but not you." Never, for a single moment, have I ever seen the shadow of anger towards me in his eyes--and believe me, I did everything that one thousand children could do. In the morning, even before breakfast I was into my mischief, until late at night. Sometimes I would come home so late--three o'clock in the morning. But what a man he was! He never said, "You are too late. This is not the time for a child to come home." No, not even once. In fact, in front of me he would avoid looking at the clock on the wall. [glimps05] [NB: Bacalah kisah berikut ini secara teliti dan kritis; pisahkan mana yang emas dan mana yang loyang. Cobalah selami apa yang tersirat.-hh] Osho argues with Nana's guru Jainism is the most ascetic religion in the world, or in other words the most masochistic and sadistic. Jaina monks torture themselves so much that one wonders if they are insane. They are not. They are businessmen, and the followers of the Jaina monks are all businessmen. It is strange, the whole Jaina community consists only of businessmen--but not really strange because the religion itself is basically motivated for profit in the other world. The Jaina tortures himself in order to gain something in the other world which he knows he cannot attain in this. I must have been about four or five years old when I saw the first naked Jaina monk being invited into my grandmother's house. I could not resist laughing. My grandfather told me, "Keep quiet! I know you are a nuisance. I can forgive you when you are a pain in the neck to the neighbors, but I cannot forgive you if you try to be mischievous with my guru. He is my master; he initiated me into the inner secrets of religion." I said, "I am not concerned about the inner secrets, I am concerned about the outer secrets that he is showing so clearly. Why is he naked? Can't he at least wear short pants?" Even my grandfather laughed. He said, "You don't understand." I said, "Okay, I will ask him myself." I then asked my grandmother, "Can I ask a few questions to this utterly insane man who comes naked in front of ladies and gentlemen?" My grandmother laughed and said, "Go ahead, and don't take any notice of what your grandfather says. I allow you. If he says anything just indicate towards me and I will put him right." She was really a beautiful woman, courageous, ready to give freedom without any limits. She did not even ask me what I was going to ask. She simply said, "Go ahead...." All the villagers had assembled for the darshan [memandang, menghadap orang suci, dalam Hinduisme suatu perbuatan yang dianggap memberikan pahala besar.-hh] of the Jaina monk. In the middle of the so-called sermon I stood up. That was forty or so years ago, and since then I have been fighting these idiots continuously. That day a war began which is only going to end when I am no more. Perhaps it may not end even then; my people may continue it. I asked simple questions that he could not answer. I was puzzled. My grandfather was ashamed. My grandmother patted me on the back and said, "Great! You did it! I knew you were able to." What had I asked?--just simple questions. I had asked, "Why don't you want to be born again?" [(1) ihat komentar hudoyo di bawah.] That's a very simple question in Jainism, because Jainism is nothing but an effort not to be born again. It is the whole science of preventing rebirth. So I asked him the basic question, "Don't you ever want to be born again?" He said, "No, never." Then I asked, "Why don't you commit suicide? Why are you still breathing? Why eat? Why drink water? Just disappear, commit suicide. Why make so much fuss over a simple thing?" He was not more than forty years of age.... I said to him, "If you continue in this way, you may have to continue for another forty years or even more." It is a scientific fact that people who eat less live longer.... (2 - lihat di bawah) So I said to the monk--I did not know these facts then--"If you don't want to be born again, why are you living? Just to die? Then why not commit suicide?" I don't think anybody had ever asked him such a question. In polite society nobody ever asks a real question, and the question of suicide is the most real of all. Marcel [Gabriel Marcel, seorang filsuf eksistensialis dari Barat.--hh] says: Suicide is the only real philosophical question. I had no idea of Marcel then. Perhaps at that time there was no Marcel, and his book had not been written yet. But this is what I said to the Jaina monk: "If you don't want to be born again, which you say is your desire, then why do you live? For what? Commit suicide! I can show you a way. Although I don't know much about the ways of the world, as far as suicide is concerned I can give you some advice. You can jump off the hill at the side of the village, or you can jump into the river." The river was three miles away from the village, and so deep and so vast that to swim across it was such a joy for me. Many times while swimming across the river I would think it was the end and I would not be able to reach the other shore. It was so wide, particularly in the rainy season, miles wide.(3) It looked almost like an ocean. In the rainy season one could not even see the other shore. When it was in full flood, that was when I would jump in, either to die or to reach the other shore. The greater probability was that I would never reach the other shore. I told the Jaina monk, "In the rainy season you can jump into the river with me. We can keep company for a little while, then you can die, and I will reach the other shore. I can swim well enough." He looked at me so fiercely, so full of anger, that I had to tell him, "Remember, you will have to be born again because you are still full of anger. This is not the way to get rid of the world of worries. Why are you looking at me so angrily? Answer my question in a peaceful and silent way. Answer joyously! If you cannot answer, simply say, 'I don't know.' But don't be angry." The man said, "Suicide is a sin. I cannot commit suicide. But I want never to be born again. I will achieve that state by slowly renouncing everything that I possess." I said, "Please show me something that you possess because, as far as I can see you are naked and you don't possess anything. What possessions do you have?" (4) My grandfather tried to stop me. I pointed towards my grandmother and then said to him, "Remember, I asked permission of Nani, and now nobody can prevent me, not even you. (5) I spoke to her about you because I was worried that if I interrupted your guru and his rubbishy, so-called sermon, you would be angry with me. She said to 'Just point towards me, that's all. Don't be worried: just a look from me and he will become silent.'" And strange...it was true! He became silent, even without a look from my Nani. Later on my Nani and I both laughed. I said to her, "He did not even look at you." She said, "He could not, because he must have been afraid that I would say 'Shut up! Don't interfere with the child.' So he avoided me. The only way to avoid me was to not interfere with you." In fact he closed his eyes as if he was meditating. I said to him, "Nana, great! You are angry, boiling, there is fire within you, yet you sit with closed eyes as if you are meditating. Your guru is angry because my questions are annoying him. You are angry because your guru is not capable of answering. But I say, this man who is sermonizing here is just an imbecile." And I was not more than four or five years old. (6) From that time on that has remained my language. I immediately recognize the idiot wherever he is, whoever he is. Nobody can escape my x-ray eyes. I can immediately see any retardedness, or anything else whatsoever. [glimps07] I have been talking about an incident that is absolutely important in order to understand my life and its workings...and it is still alive for me. By the way, I was saying I can still remember, but the word 'remember' is not right. I can still see the whole incident happening. Of course I was just a young child, but that does not mean that what I said is not to be taken seriously. In fact it is the only serious thing that I have ever talked about: suicide. To a Westerner it may seem a little rude to ask a monk--who is almost like a pope to the Jainas--such a question: "Why don't you commit suicide?" But be kind to me. Let me explain before you conclude, or stop listening to me. Jainism is the only religion in the world which respects suicide. Now it is your turn to be surprised. Of course they do not call it suicide; they give it a beautiful metaphysical name, santhara. I am against it, particularly the way it is done. It is very violent and cruel. It is strange that a religion which believes in nonviolence should preach santhara, suicide. You can call it metaphysical suicide, but after all, suicide is suicide; the name does not matter. What matters is that the man is no longer alive. Why am I against it? I am not against the right of man to commit suicide. No, it should be one of the basic human rights. If I don't want to live, who has the right to force me to live? If I myself want to disappear, then all that others can do is to make it as comfortable as possible. Note it: one day I would like to disappear. I cannot live forever.... ..I am not against the Jaina attitude to suicide, but the method...their method is not to eat anything. It takes almost ninety days for the poor man to die. It is torture. You cannot improve on it.... Jaina monks and their masochistic practices. They are superb! They never cut their hair, they pull it out with their hands. Look what a great idea! Every year the Jaina monk pulls out his hair, beard and mustache, and all hair on the body, just with his bare hands! They are against any technology--and they call it logic, going to the very logical end of a thing. If you use a razor, that is technology; did you know that? Have you ever considered a razor a technological thing? Even so-called ecologists go on shaving their beards without knowing that they are committing a crime against nature. Jaina monks pull out their hair--and not privately, because they do not have any privacy. Part of their masochism is not to have any privacy, to be utterly public. They pull their hair out while standing naked in the marketplace. The crowds, of course, cheer and applaud. And Jainas, although they feel great sympathy--you can even see tears in their eyes--unconsciously they also enjoy it, and without needing a ticket. I abhor it. I am averse to all such practices. The idea of committing santhara, suicide, by not eating or drinking, is nothing but a very long process of self-torture. I cannot support it. But I am absolutely in support of the idea of the freedom to die. I consider it a birthright, and sooner or later every constitution in the world will contain it, will have to have it as the most basic birthright--the right to die. It is not a crime. But to torture anybody, including yourself, is a crime. With this you will be able to understand that I was not being rude, I was asking a very relevant question. On that day I began a lifelong struggle against all kinds of stupidities, nonsense, superstitions--in short, religious bullshit. Bullshit is such a beautiful word. It says so much, in short. That day I began my life as a rebel, and I will continue to be a rebel to my very last breath--or even after it, who knows.... (7) That day was significant, historically significant. I have always remembered that day along with the day when Jesus argued with the rabbis in the temple. He was a little older than I was, perhaps eight or nine years older. The way he argued determined the whole course of his life. (8) I don't remember the name of the Jaina monk; perhaps his name was Shanti Sagar, meaning "ocean of bliss." He certainly was not that. That is why I have forgotten even his name. He was just a dirty puddle, not an ocean of bliss or peace or silence. And he was certainly not a man of silence, because he became very angry. Shanti can mean many things. It may mean peace, it may mean silence; those are the two basic meanings. Both were missing in him. He was neither peaceful nor silent, not at all. Nor could you say that he was without any turmoil in him because he became so angry that he shouted at me to sit down. I said, "Nobody can tell me to sit down in my own house. I can tell you to get out, but you cannot tell me to sit down. But I will not tell you to get out because I have a few more questions. Please don't be angry. Remember your name, Shanti Sagar--ocean of peace and silence. You could at least be a little pool. And don't be disturbed by a little child." Without bothering whether he was silent or not, I asked my grandmother, who was by now all laughter, "What do you say, Nani? Should I ask him more questions, or tell him to get out of our house?" I did not ask my grandfather of course, because this man was his guru. My Nani said, "You can ask whatsoever you want to, and if he cannot answer, the door is open, he can get out." That was the woman I loved. That was the woman who made me a rebel. Even my grandfather was shocked that she supported me in such a way. That so-called Shanti Sagar immediately became silent the moment he saw that my grandmother supported me. Not only her, the villagers were immediately on my side. The poor Jaina monk was left absolutely alone. I asked him a few more questions. I asked, "You have said, 'Don't believe anything unless you have experienced it yourself.' I see the truth in that, hence this question...." Jainas believe there are seven hells. Up to the sixth there is a possibility of coming back, but the seventh is eternal. Perhaps the seventh is the Christian hell, because there too, once you are in it you are in it forever. I continued, "You referred to seven hells, so the question arises, have you visited the seventh? If you have, then you could not be here. If you have not, on what authority do you say that it exists? You should say that there are only six hells, not seven. Now please be correct: say that there are only six hells, or if you want to insist on seven, then prove to me that at least one man, Shanti Sagar, has come back from the seventh hell." He was dumbfounded. He could not believe that a child could ask such a question. (9) Today, I too cannot believe it! How could I ask such a question? The only answer I can give is that I was uneducated, and utterly without any knowledge. Knowledge makes you very cunning. I was not cunning. I simply asked the question which any child could have asked if he were not educated. Education is the greatest crime man has committed against poor children. Perhaps the last liberation in the world will be the liberation of children. (10) --------------------- Komentar Hudoyo: (1) Osho: "Why don't you want to be born again?" -- Pertanyaan ini salah, menggambarkan pemahaman yang simplistik terhadap ajaran Hinduisme, Buddhisme dan Jainisme. Ketiga agama itu mengajarkan orang untuk memahami eksistensi ini, yang bersifat tidak kekal, tidak memuaskan, dan tidak mempunyai esensi abadi yang dapat diselami oleh pikiran. Dengan tertembusnya pemahaman itu, berakhirlah rangkaian kehidupan orang tersebut di dalam eksistensi ini (moksha, nirvana). Namun, selama masih ada keinginan, sehalus apa pun, bahkan keinginan untuk moksha itu sendiri, itu berarti sang 'aku' masih tetap ada; eksistensi ini belum dipahami secara tuntas. -- Jadi kesalahan pemahaman pada pertanyaan di atas terletak pada kata 'want'. 'Want' itulah yang membuat orang terus-menerus lahir dan mati. Sayang sekali sang pertapa telanjang tidak bisa menjawabnya (kalau cerita itu betul); mungkin ia cuma seorang penganut yang belum menembus hakekat ajaran agamanya sendiri, dan dengan mudahnya Osho, yang memang cerdas, mempermainkannya. (2) Osho: "If you continue in this way, you may have to continue for another forty years or even more." It is a scientific fact that people who eat less live longer.... Bisakah anak berumur 4-5 tahun--kakeknya masih hidup--berpikir seperti ini? (3) [The river] was so wide, particularly in the rainy season, miles wide. -- Berlebihan; Madhya Pradesh terletak di tengah daratan India, di sana tidak ada sungai yang lebarnya bermil-mil. (4) Osho: "Please show me something that you possess because, as far as I can see you are naked and you don't possess anything. What possessions do you have?" Pertanyaan ini menunjukkan pemahaman yang sempit, disadari atau tidak, terhadap arti 'possession' [milik]. -- Mungkin ini disengaja, mengingat pendengarnya adalah anak-anak muda dari Barat yang naif. (5) Osho kepada kakeknya: "nobody can prevent me, not even you." -- Bagaimana harus dikatakan, seorang cucu yang berani berkata seperti ini kepada kakek yang mencintainya? (6) Osho kepada kakeknya: "Nana, great! You are angry, boiling, there is fire within you, yet you sit with closed eyes as if you are meditating. Your guru is angry because my questions are annoying him. You are angry because your guru is not capable of answering. But I say, this man who is sermonizing here is just an imbecile." And I was not more than four or five years old. -- Luar biasa; betulkah? (7) Osho: "That day I began my life as a rebel, and I will continue to be a rebel to my very last breath--or even after it, who knows...." --Apakah Osho mendapat kepuasan dari pemberontakannya? (8) Identifikasi dengan legenda Yesus. (9) Osho: "You referred to seven hells, so the question arises, have you visited the seventh? If you have, then you could not be here. If you have not, on what authority do you say that it exists? You should say that there are only six hells, not seven. Now please be correct: say that there are only six hells, or if you want to insist on seven, then prove to me that at least one man, Shanti Sagar, has come back from the seventh hell." -- Kalau ini ditanyakan oleh anak berusia 10 - 13 tahun, masih masuk akal. Tapi kalau anak berusia 4-5 tahun? Apakah yang mau disiratkan oleh Osho di sini? (10) Osho: "Education is the greatest crime man has committed against poor children..." Lagi-lagi hiperbolisme. Apa sebetulnya motivasi di balik seorang guru spiritual yang hiperbolik? Perhatian? Ketenaran? [NB: Bacalah kisah berikut ini secara teliti dan kritis. Cobalah selami apa yang tersirat.-hh] The family servant, Bhoora The man who was put on guard to save me, I called him strange. Why? Because his name was Bhoora, and it means "white man." He was the only white man in our village. He was not a European; it was just by chance that he did not look like an Indian. He looked more like a European but he was not. His mother most probably had worked in a British Army camp and had become pregnant there. That's why nobody knew his name, everybody called him Bhoora. Bhoora means "the white one." It is not a name but it became his name. He was a very impressive-looking man. He came to work for my grandfather from early childhood, and even though he was a servant he was treated like one of the family. I also called him strange because although I have come to know many people in the world, one rarely comes across such a man as Bhoora. He was a man you could trust. You could say anything to him and he would keep the secret forever. This fact became known to my family only when my grandfather died.... What a man! But such men used to exist on earth. They are disappearing by and by, and instead of such people you find all kinds of cunning people taking their place. These people are the very salt of the earth. I call Bhoora a strange man because in a cunning world, to be simple is strange. It is to be a stranger, not of this world. [glimps03] Bhoora may have been just an obedient servant to my grandfather, but to me he was a friend. Most of the time we were together--in the fields, in the forest, on the lake, everywhere. Bhoora followed me like a shadow, not interfering, always ready to help, and with such a great heart...so poor and yet so rich, together. He never invited me to his house. Once I asked him, "Bhoora, why do you never invite me to your house?" He said, "I am so poor that although I want to invite you, my poverty prevents me. I don't want you to see that ugly house in all its dirtiness. In this life I cannot see a time when I will be able to invite you. I really have dropped the very idea." He was very poor. In that village there were two parts: one for the higher castes, and the other for the poorer ones, on the other side of the lake. That's where Bhoora lived. Although I tried many times to reach his house I could not manage it because he was always following me like a shadow. He would prevent me before I even stepped in that direction. Even my horse used to listen to him. When it came to going towards his house, Bhoora would say, "No! Don't go." Of course he had brought the horse up from its very childhood; they understood each other, and the horse would stop. There would be no way to get the horse to move either towards Bhoora's house, or even towards the poorer part of the village. I had only seen it from the other side, the richer, where the brahmins and the Jainas lived, and all those who are by birth, pure. Bhoora was a sudra. The word 'sudra' means "impure by birth," and there is no way for a sudra to purify himself. This is the work of Manu*. That's why I condemn him and hate him. I denounce him, and want the world to know of this man, Manu, because unless we know of such people we will never be able to be free of them. They will continue to influence us in some form or another. Either it is race--even in America, if you are a negro, you are a sudra, a "nigger," untouchable. Whether you are a negro or a white man, both need to be acquainted with the insane philosophy of Manu. It is Manu who has influenced the two world wars in a very subtle way. And perhaps he will be the cause of the third, and last...a really influential man!... I don't think any man has influenced humanity more than Manu. Even today, whether you know his name or not, he influences you. If you think yourself superior just because you are white or black, or just because you are a man or a woman, somehow Manu is pulling your strings. Manu has to be absolutely discarded. [glimps19] [*Note: Manu gave the anicent caste system its scriptural 'authority' in his books Manu Samhita and Manu Smriti. Nietzsche and Hitler were influenced by Manu] I was looking at some pictures of the marriage procession of Princess Diana, and strangely, the only thing that impressed me in the whole nonsense was the beautiful horses, their joyous dance. Looking at those horses I remembered my own horse. I have not told anyone about it...but now that I am not keeping anything secret, even this can be told. I not only owned one horse; in fact I had four horses. One was my own--and you know how fussy I am...even today nobody else can ride in the Rolls Royces. It is just fussiness. I was the same at that time too. Nobody, not even my grandfather, was allowed to ride my horse. Of course, I was allowed to ride everyone else's horse. Both my grandfather and my grandmother had one. It was strange in an Indian village for a woman to ride a horse--but she was a strange woman, what to do! The fourth horse was for Bhoora, the servant who always followed me with his gun, at a distance of course. Destiny is strange. I have never harmed anyone in my life, not even in my dreams. I am absolutely vegetarian. But as destiny would have it, from my very childhood I have been followed by a guard. I don't know why, but since Bhoora I have never been without a guard. Even today my guards are always either ahead or behind, but always there. Bhoora started the whole game. I already told you that he looked like a European, that's why he was called Bhoora. It was not his real name. Bhoora simply means "the white one." Even I don't know his real name at all. He looked European, very European, and it looked really strange, especially in that village where I don't think any European had ever entered. And still there are guards.... Even when I was a child, I could see the point of Bhoora following me at a distance on his horse, because twice there was an attempt to abduct me. I don't know why anybody should have been interested in me. Now at least I can understand. My grandfather, though not very rich by Western standards, was certainly very rich in that village. Dakaits...it is not an English word; it comes from the Hindi word daku.... Dakait is a transliteration of daku; it means thief--not just an ordinary thief, but when a group of people, armed and organized, plan the act of stealing, then it is dakaitry. Even when I was young, in India it was a common practice to steal rich people's children, then to threaten the parents that if they didn't pay, then the hands of the child would be cut off. If they paid, then they could save the child's hands. Sometimes the threat would be to blind the child, or if the parents were really rich then the threat was direct--that the child would be killed. To save the child, the poor parents were ready to do anything whatsoever. Twice they tried to steal me. Two things saved me: one was my horse, who was a really strong Arabian; the second was Bhoora, the servant. He was ordered by my grandfather to fire into the air--not at the people trying to abduct me, because that is against Jainism, but you are allowed to fire into the air to frighten them. Of course my grandmother had whispered in Bhoora's ear, "Don't bother about what my husband says. First you can fire into the air, but if it doesn't work, remember: if you don't shoot the people I will shoot you." And she was a really good shot. I have seen her shoot and she was always accurate to the minutest point--she did not miss much. Nani was very exact as far as details are concerned. She was always to the point, never around it. There are some people who go around and around and around: you have to figure out what they really want. That was not her way; she was exact, mathematically exact. She told Bhoora, "Remember, if you come home without him just to report he has been stolen, I will shoot you immediately." I knew, Bhoora knew, my grandfather knew, because although she said it into Bhoora's ear, it was not a whisper; it was loud enough to be heard by the whole village. She meant it. She always meant business. My grandfather looked the other way. I could not resist; I laughed loudly and said, "Why are you looking the other way? You heard her. If you are a real Jaina, tell Bhoora not to shoot anybody." But before my grandfather could say anything, my Nani said, "I have told Bhoora on your behalf too, so you keep quiet." She was such a woman that she would even have shot my grandfather. I knew her--I don't mean literally, but metaphorically, and that is more dangerous than literally. So he kept quiet. Twice I was almost abducted. Once my horse brought me home, and once Bhoora had to fire the gun, of course into the air. Perhaps if there had been a need he would have fired at the person who was trying to abduct me. But there was no need, so he saved himself and also my grandfather's religion. Since then, it is strange...it seems very, very strange to me because I have been absolutely harmless to everybody, yet I have been in danger many times. Many attempts have been made on my life. I have always wondered, since life will end by itself sooner or later, why anybody should be interested to put an end to it in the middle. What purpose can it serve? If I could be convinced of that purpose I can stop breathing this very moment.... But when she had said to Bhoora, "If anyone touches my child, you are not just to fire into the air because we believe in Jainism.... That belief is good, but only in the temple. In the marketplace we have to behave in the way of the world, and the world is not Jaina. How can we behave according to our philosophy?" I can see her crystal-clear logic. If you are talking to a man who does not understand English, you cannot speak to him in English. If you speak to him in his own language then there is more possibility of communication. Philosophies are languages; let that be clearly noted. Philosophies don't mean anything at all--they are languages. And the moment I heard my grandmother say to Bhoora, "When a dakait tries to steal my child, speak the language he understands, forget all about Jainism"--in that moment I understood. Although it was not so clear to me as it became later on, it must have been clear to Bhoora. My grandfather certainly understood the situation because he closed his eyes and started repeating his mantra: "Namo arihantanam namo...namo siddhanam namo...." I laughed, my grandmother giggled; Bhoora, of course, only smiled. But everybody understood the situation--and she was right, as always.... My grandmother had the same quality of being always right. She said to Bhoora, "Do you think these dakaits believe in Jainism? And that old fool..." she indicated my grandfather who was repeating his mantra. She then said, "That old fool has only told you to fire into the air because we should not kill. Let him repeat his mantra. Who is telling him to kill? You are not a Jaina, are you?" I knew instinctively at that moment that if Bhoora was a Jaina he would lose his job. I had never bothered before whether Bhoora was a Jaina or not. For the first time I became concerned about the poor man, and started praying. I did not know to whom, because Jainas don't believe in any God. I was never indoctrinated into any belief, but still I started saying within myself, "God, if you are there, save this poor man's job." Do you see the point? Even then I said, "If you are there...." I cannot lie even in such a situation. But mercifully Bhoora was not a Jaina. He said, "I am not a Jaina so I don't care." My Nani said, "Then remember what I have told you, not what that old fool has said." In fact she always used to use that term for my grandfather: "that old fool". But that "old fool" is dead. My mother...my grandmother is dead. Excuse me, again I said "my mother." I really cannot believe she was not my mother and only my grandmother... When she spoke to Bhoora I knew she meant it. Bhoora knew she meant it too. When my grandfather started the mantra, I knew he also understood that she meant business. Twice I was attacked--and to me it was a joy, an adventure. In fact, deep down I wanted to know what it meant to be abducted. That has always been my characteristic, you can call it my character. It is a quality I rejoice in. I used to go on my horse to the woods which belonged to us. My grandfather promised that all that belonged to him would be willed to me, and he was true to his word. He never gave a single pai to anybody else. He had thousands of acres of land. Of course, in those days it didn't have any value. But value is not my concern--it was so beautiful: those tall trees, and a great lake, and in summer when the mangoes became ripe it was so fragrant. I used to go there on my horse so often that the horse became accustomed to my path.... I used to go on my horse, and seeing those horses in Princess Diana's wedding procession I could not believe that England could have such beautiful horses.... All those people, and I could only love the horses! They were the real people. What joy! What steps! What dance! Just sheer celebration. I immediately remembered my own horse, and those days...their fragrance is there still. I can see the lake, and myself as a child on the horse in the woods. It is strange--I can smell the mangoes, the neem trees, the pines, and I can also smell my horse. It is good that I was not allergic to smell in those days, or, who knows, I may have been allergic but unaware of it. It is a strange coincidence that the year of my enlightenment was also the year of my becoming allergic. [glimps10] [NB: Bacalah kisah berikut ini secara teliti dan kritis; pisahkan mana yang emas dan mana yang loyang. Cobalah selami apa yang tersirat.-hh] Osho's early experiences with orthodox religions In Jainism a beautiful incident happened. A woman named Mallibai asked the contemporary tirthankara [Dalam agama Jaina, orang yang sempurna, telah mencapai pembebasan.-hh], the contemporary Jaina master, "Why is a woman prevented?" He said, "For the simple reason that unless you are naked and live like we live, you cannot become enlightened." And a woman certainly feels shy to be naked, particularly amongst so-called celibates. But Mallibai was a lioness! She immediately dropped her clothes, and she said, "If nakedness is the only problem, I am naked." And she rose to deep meditations, to such a height that Jainism had to accept her as one of the tirthankaras. But such cunningness, such callousness...they changed her name so that posterity would never know that a woman had become equal to Mahavira! They changed her name from Mallibai--bai means a woman--to Mallinath--nath means a man. I used to harass my father, that "I want to see which one of the twenty-four statues in the temple is Mallibai." He said, "I don't know. Don't harass me. They all are men!" Even the statue has been made that of a man! The name has been changed, the statue is made of a man, just so that the fact that a woman has become enlightened is erased from the memory of man. [poetry04] My sister was being married and I told my father, "If the word kanyadan, donation of the daughter, is being used, I will never come back to this family again. Then you can think I am dead." He said, "But this is strange. That word has been used for centuries." I said, "I don't care about the centuries, I care about the meaning of the word. You can donate things, you can donate money--you cannot donate people! And I will not allow it, even if the marriage party goes back. Let them go to hell!" He said, "I was worried that you might create some trouble, but I had not thought about this kind of trouble. The marriage party is coming--you can hear the band, and the people are coming closer--and you ask me not to use the word `kanyadan'...! But what about the brahmin priest who will say, `Where is the father? He has to come and do kanyadan.'" I said, "I have made arrangements with the priest before I talked to you." The priest used to live just behind my house. There used to be a big neem tree in the middle--and it was a very narrow street--and I had spread the gossip around the town that the tree was full of ghosts. And the brahmin was very much afraid, because he had to pass through that street. He was the only person who lived behind our house, the only person who had to go through that street. And he used to ask me, "Is it true?" I said, "Do you want to experience? I have some acquaintance with those people because I live in the house..." And one day I managed to give him some experience.... He used to almost run in the street. From the main street he would start running saying, "Hare Krishna, Hare Rama, Hare Krishna, Hare Rama..." just to avoid the ghosts which were there. And he had just begun with, "Hare Krishna, Hare Rama..." when I gave him the experience. I had just done a simple thing. As he was coming from his work in the town--some worship, some marriage or whatever--it must have been ten o'clock in the night, it was a dark night...I had a drum with me and a big blanket. As he came under the tree, I threw the blanket over him so he could not see what was happening, and I just banged the drum and threw the drum also over him. He got so confused at what was happening, he ran away, back down the street. And by chance, the drum fell over his head. I had not thought that it would go that way--that his head was completely covered by the drum, and underneath the drum was the blanket covering his whole body. So by the time he reached the road, people started running, thinking that the ghost had come onto the road! He had to shout and struggle, "I am the brahmin who lives behind! I am not the ghost! It is the work of the ghost that I am in such a situation." But there was no other way. So he was always very polite and respectful of me after the experience. Whatever I said he always said, "Yes, I will do it." I told him, "My sister is going to be married. You are not to use the word `kanyadan', because no person can be donated. It is not a gift--a human being given as a donation? If you use `kanyadan', then remember, from this day you will never be able to reach your home...every day those ghosts will trouble you." He said, "I will do everything, but please no more blankets, no more drums." So I told my father, "He is willing." [sword22] In my childhood, one of my father's friends was a great physician in that area, and also a very learned scholar. So saints, mahatmas, scholars used to stay in his home. And because of my father's friendship with him, I was allowed in his home, there was no barrier for me--although whenever there was any guest he wanted me not to come. He used to say, "This is a strange coincidence, that whenever I want you not to come you immediately appear"--because I was constantly watching from my house so that if some saint arrived, then the second person to arrive would be me. And I found out from my very childhood... these people were almost all Vedantins, the philosophy that teaches all is illusory. One of the famous Hindu saints, Karpatri, used to stay there. One day he was sitting; behind him was a door going inside the house. I simply dropped a book on his head. Now, a clean-shaved head...and the book was not just dropping, it was really hitting. And he said, "What are you doing?" I said, "Nothing, it is all illusory."(3) The physician was not present. He said, "Let the physician come. You should be barred from entering into this house." I said, "Strange, you believe in the house? You believe in the physician? He is sitting there just in front of you." He looked. He said, "There is nobody there." I said, "It is illusory, how can you see illusions? I can see him perfectly well; he is sitting in his seat surrounded by his medicines." He looked again. I said, "It must be that you are getting old and you need glasses." He said, "I can see everything else perfectly--tables, chairs, the walls--it is just the physician I cannot see." And at that very time the physician came out, and he said, "Here is the physician!" I said, "The whole day you are talking about illusion, illusion, illusion, but in your life I don't see any impact of your philosophy. And what is the point of having a philosophy of life which is just verbal, intellectual?" Avoid these people. In my childhood, when these people would be giving discourses in the temple, I used to stand up--and this was one of the points I would make to them: "Don't mention that things are illusory. If you mention it, I will prove that they are not. And you know me perfectly well, because we have met at the physician's place in the morning. I have already proved it. It started happening that they would avoid coming to my village. The physician told my father, "Saints used to come to my house. Your son is such trouble that when I go to the railway station to receive them they say, `We are not coming, because it becomes such an embarrassing situation: before thousands of people he stands up and he says he can prove...And he can prove, and we cannot prove, that is true. It is only a philosophy that the world is illusory.'" Always remember that philosophies are worthless unless they can give you an insight, unless they can give you a new vision of life, unless they can transform you, unless they are alchemical. [upan31] From my very childhood I have been continuously questioning knowledgeable people. My (parents') house was a guest house of many Jaina saints, Hindu monks, Sufi mystics, because my grandfather was interested in all of these people. But he was not a follower of anybody. He, rather, enjoyed me bothering these saints. Once I asked him, "Are you really interested in these people? You invite them to stay in the house and then you tell me to harass them. In what are you really interested?" He said, "To tell you the truth I enjoy their being harassed, because these guys go on pretending that they know--and they know nothing. But anywhere else it would be difficult to harass them because people would stop you. People would tell me, `Your grandson is a nuisance here--take him away.' So I invite them, and then in our own house you can do whatever you want. And you have all my support: you can ask any questions you want." And I enquired of these people, just simple questions: "Be true and just simply tell me, do you know God? Is it your own experience or have you just heard? You are learned, you can quote scriptures, but I am not asking about scriptures: I am asking about you. Can you quote yourself, your experience?" And I was surprised that not a single man had any experience of God, or of himself. And these were great saints in India, worshiped by thousands of people. They were deceiving themselves and they were deceiving thousands of others. That's why I say that knowledge has done much harm. Ignorance has done no harm. [dark09] [NB: Bacalah kisah berikut ini secara teliti dan kritis; pisahkan mana yang emas dan mana yang loyang. Cobalah selami apa yang tersirat.-hh] Osho's early experiences with orthodox religions (5) I have come across many priests, and it was, in the beginning, a great shock to me that they are people who know nothing about religion; they are the people who know nothing of prayer; they are the people who have never meditated. They worship, but their worship is superficial--it is not of the heart--and they worship on behalf of someone else. They are servants, not really priests. In India, every rich man has a small temple in his house. But the rich man has no time for God. Why waste time for God? In that much time, he can earn much. A priest can be purchased--and he will pray on behalf of you. Man is so deceptive that he can deceive even himself. The god is dead; he has purchased it from the market. It is nothing but stone, carved into the shape of some unknown god who has never been seen by anyone. The god is just a thing. Of course, the richer the man, the costlier will be the god. But whether costly or not, it is a commodity. And on top of that, even the priest is a salaried servant. He has nothing to do with God--he has something to do with money. I have seen priests running from one temple to another. If a priest can manage to pray in twenty temples, then he is a rich priest. The whole idea is so absurd and unbelievable. It is just as if you have a paid servant to love your beloved on your behalf. Perhaps one day it is going to happen--because the time you waste in loving your beloved can produce much money, much power. This game of love can be done by an ordinary servant. Why waste your time? And if the woman is also intelligent, there is no need for her to be there; she can also afford a woman servant. They both can love each other. Why waste time unnecessarily? [mess212] I have been sitting, hiding in temples, and listening to what people are asking. I was puzzled. There is not a single thing in the world that you will not hear being asked. Somebody is after some woman, and the woman is not paying any attention to him. Offer a coconut, and God will take care of it. In India, it is impossible to destroy baksheesh.... [uang sogokan.-hh] You should go to a temple--just stand by the side so nobody observes you, and watch the people who come to pray. If there is a crowd, they pray long, because so many people are seeing them--they will spread the rumor in the city that this man is very religious. If there is nobody to observe them, their prayer is a shortcut. They finish it quickly and...gone. What is the point?--nobody is watching. I have seen the same person praying before the crowd--then he goes long--and the same person alone in the temple, unaware that I am hiding there--he quickly finishes the prayer. If there is nobody seeing him, what is the point? [mess212] I have met thousands of people who are known as great religious masters and teachers. India is so full of sages and saints you can meet them anywhere. There is no need to seek and search. They are seeking and searching for you, and fighting: "You belong to me, not to yourself"--whosoever catches hold of you first. But they are all parts of a certain cult, repeating parrot-like--exactly parrot-like or you can say computer-like--scriptures, great words. But words only mean that which the person has. The search for truth is basically the search for a living master. It is very rare that you can find the way without a master.(6) But I allow the exception. I allow the exception because I myself never had any master.(7) I have met with many so-called masters, but they all wanted to get rid of me, because my presence was such a danger to their respectability. I raised questions that they could not answer. Other disciples started disappearing, and they would say, "Please, you go on and find somebody else; don't disturb our disciples. They never asked such questions before you came; now they have started asking strange questions about which we know nothing." There are around the world many who pretend that they know. But you can see in their eyes, in their gestures, in their silences, in their words, whether they know or they are just tape recorders, quoting scriptures. [ignor18] For example, the law of the Hindu society that divides it into four castes is absolutely unlawful, unjust. It has no reasonable support for it--I have seen idiots who are born in a brahmin family. Just because you are born in a brahmin family, you cannot claim superiority. I have seen people who are born in the lowest category of Hindu law, the sudras, the untouchables, so intelligent: when India became independent, the man who made the constitution of India, Dr. Babasaheb Ambedkar, was a sudra. There was no equal to his intelligence as far as law is concerned--he was a world-famous authority. [mess202] The sudra is not allowed to have any education, he's not allowed to read any religious scripture. Obviously, he cannot read because he has never been in a school. It was the British government who made a law that sudras can and should be allowed in the schools. When I was a child and I first entered school, I was surprised that a few children were sitting outside the class. I asked, "What is the matter? Why are these children sitting out of the class?" And the teacher told me, "They are sudras. Although the law has been enforced, we cannot drop our culture. They have to sit outside." Even if some sudra somehow manages to learn to read, he cannot read any religious scripture. The penalty and the punishment is death. Forget all about reading religious scriptures--he cannot even listen. If somewhere brahmins are reciting the Vedas, the sudra is not allowed to listen. This is the respect that you have given to labor. The parasites, the brahmins, are the highest caste; you have to touch their feet. [mess113] Jainism in India, on its sacred days, ten days per year, you have to fast and you cannot eat in the night. According to Jainism you cannot eat in the night any day of the year; eating in the night is sin. When the sun sets, Jainas cannot eat. Not only that, those who are very orthodox will not drink water. It was such a trouble in my childhood, because I was born in a Jaina family, that I simply refused. In India it is so hot, and summer nights are so hot, and you cannot even drink water. I said, "I am willing to go to hell--that will happen after death. There is time...I will do something...but right now I am going to drink. I don't want to suffer this night in hell." In those ten days you cannot eat at all for ten days continuously. And I know that in those ten days Jainas think only of food, nothing else. Day and night, their dreams are full of food. [last209] From my childhood I was taught a very very strict vegetarianism. I was born in a Jaina family, absolutely dogmatic about vegetarianism. Not even tomatoes were allowed in my house, because tomatoes look a little like red meat. Poor innocent tomatoes, they were not allowed. Nobody has ever heard of anybody eating in the night; the sunset was the last limit. For eighteen years I had not eaten anything in the night, it was a great sin. Then for the first time I went on a picnic with a few friends to the mountains. And they were all Hindus and I was the only Jaina. And they were not worried to cook in the day. Mm? The mountains were so beautiful and there was so much to explore--so they didn't bother about cooking at all, they cooked in the night. Now it was a great problem for me to eat or not to eat? And I was feeling really hungry. The whole day moving in the mountains, it had been arduous. And I was really feeling hungry--for the first time so hungry in my life. And then they started cooking. And the aroma and the food smell. And I was just sitting there, a Jaina. Now it was too difficult for me--what to do? The idea of eating in the night was impossible--the whole conditioning of eighteen years. And to sleep in that kind of hunger was impossible. And then they all started persuading me. And they said, 'There is nobody here to know that you have eaten, and we will not tell your family at all. Don't be worried.' And I was ready to be seduced, so they seduced me and I ate. But then I could not sleep--I had to vomit two or three times in the night, the whole night became nightmarish. It would have been better if I had not eaten. Conditioning for eighteen years that to eat in the night is sin. Now nobody else was vomiting, they were all fast asleep and snoring. They have all committed sin and they are all sleeping perfectly well. And they have been committing the sin for eighteen years, and I have committed it for the first time and I am being punished. This seems unjust! [body04] One Jaina monk was in the town. Jaina monks sit on a very high pedestal, so that even standing you can touch their feet with your head...at least a five-foot, six-foot-high pedestal--and they sit on it. Jaina monks move in a group, they are not allowed to move alone; five Jaina monks should move together. That is a strategy so that the four keep an eye on the fifth to see that nobody tries to get a Coca-Cola--unless they all conspire. And I have seen them conspiring and getting Coca-Cola, that's why I remember it. They are not allowed even to drink in the night and I have seen them drinking Coca-Cola in the night. In fact, in the day it was dangerous to drink Coca-Cola--what if somebody saw it!--so only in the night.... I had supplied it myself so there was no problem about it. Who else would supply them? No Jaina would be ready to do it, but they knew me, and they knew that any outrageous thing, and I would be ready to do it. So five pedestals were there. But one monk was sick, so when I went there with my father, I went to the fifth pedestal and sat on it. I can still remember my father and the way he looked at me...he could not even find words: "What to say to you?" And he could not interfere with me, because I had not done any wrong to anybody. Just sitting on a pedestal, a wooden pedestal, I was not hurting anybody or anything.... And those four monks were in such uneasiness and they also could not say anything--what to say? One of them finally said, "This is not right. Nobody who is not a monk should sit on an equal level." So they told my father, "You bring him down." I said, "You think twice. Remember the bottle!" because I had supplied the Coca-Cola. They said, "Yes, that's right, we remember the bottle. You sit on the pedestal as long as you please." My father said, "What bottle?" I said, "You ask these people. I have a double contract: one with you and one with them, and nobody can prevent me. You all four agree that I can sit here, or I will start telling the name of the bottle." They said, "We are perfectly satisfied. You can sit here, there is no harm--but please keep silent about the bottle." Now, many people were there, and they all became interested...what bottle? When I came out of the temple everybody gathered; they all said, "What is this bottle?" I said, "This is a secret. And this is my power over these fools whose feet you go on touching. If I want, I can manage to tell them to touch my feet, otherwise--the bottle...." These fools! My father, on the way home, asked me, "You can just tell me. I will not tell anybody: what is this bottle? Do they drink wine?" I said, "No. Things have not gone that far, but if they remain here a few days more, I will manage that too. I can force them to drink wine...otherwise I will name the bottle." The whole town was discussing the bottle, what the bottle was, and why they had become afraid: "We have always thought that they were such spiritual sages, and this boy made them afraid. And they all agreed that he could sit there, which is against the scriptures." Everybody was after me. They were ready to bribe me: "Ask whatsoever--you just tell us what is the secret of the bottle." I said, "It is a very great secret, and I am not going to tell you anything about it. Why don't you go and ask your monks what the bottle is? I can be there, so they cannot lie--and then you will know what kind of people you are worshipping. And these are the people who are conditioning your mind!" [ignor04] In India many religions teach how to destroy the taste of the food before you eat it. There are many traditions in India where the monk will beg and put all kinds of things in one begging bowl, because he is not allowed to beg from just one house. And even if he begs from just one house, then in one begging bowl sweet things are there, salty things are there, all kinds of spices are there, rice is there, all kinds of dahls are there; and they all get mixed up. But that is not enough! First the monk should go to the river and dip the whole begging bowl in the river--they don't take any chances--and then mix everything...and then enjoy it! Have a nice lunch, dinner, or whatever you call it. In fact, once it happened: I was sitting on the bank of my village river, and a monk whom I knew--he used to beg from my house too, and he was very friendly with my father, and they used to chitchat--was doing this horrible thing of dipping his begging bowl. I said to him, "Have you ever thought of one thing? The way you enjoy your food, even a buffalo would refuse it, a donkey would refuse it." He said, "What?" I said, "Yes." And in India if you want to find donkeys, you will find them near the river because the washermen use donkeys to carry their clothes to the river. Only the washermen use the donkey. Nobody else even touches the donkey because the washerman is untouchable and his donkey is untouchable too. So while they are washing clothes their donkeys are just standing on the bank of the river waiting for the washermen to load them again, and then they will start moving home. So I said, "There is a donkey. Just give me your begging bowl; and don't be worried--if he eats it I will bring you a full bowl again from my house. If he does not eat it, you have to eat it." He said, "I take the challenge." I put the begging bowl in front of the donkey and the donkey simply escaped. He escaped for two reasons: one was the food, the other was me. That was not known to the monk--that any donkey would have escaped. All the donkeys of my town were afraid of me because whenever I got a chance I would ride on them--just to harass my whole village. I would go to the marketplace sitting on a donkey. The whole village used to say, "this is too much!" And I would say, "The donkey is a creation of God, and God cannot create anything bad. And I don't see what is wrong. He is a poor fellow, and nice." So all the donkeys knew me perfectly well. It became so that even from far away, even at night, if a donkey was standing there and I was coming towards him, he would just escape. They started recognizing me. The monk was not aware that there were two reasons for the donkey running away, but he certainly saw that the donkey refused the food. I said, "This is what your religion has been teaching you, to fall below the donkey. Even a donkey can sense that this is not food, not worth eating." [person12] --------------------- Komentar Hudoyo: (5) Bagian ini mengandung perenungan-perenungan yang bagus. (6) "The search for truth is basically the search for a living master. It is very rare that you can find the way without a master." -- Pernyataan ini cukup aneh, karena selama ini Osho bicara tentang kebebasan dan ketidakbergantungan. Namun, ini dapat dipahami, sebagai pembenaran bagi peranan dirinya sendiri sebagai guru spiritual yang mengklaim mencapai pencerahan sempurna. Jelas di sini Osho bertentangan pendapat dengan Krishnamurti, sehingga dapat dipahami bila Osho tidak senang kepada Krishnamurti. Begitu pula Anand Krishna mengikuti jejak Osho dalam salah satu bukunya. (7) "But I allow the exception. I allow the exception because I myself never had any master." -- Osho mengklaim dirinya telah mencapai pencerahan sempurna, sehingga tidak membutuhkan guru siapa pun lagi. NB: Bacalah kisah berikut ini secara teliti dan kritis; pisahkan mana yang emas dan mana yang loyang. Cobalah selami apa yang tersirat.-hh] Osho's early experiences with orthodox religions Religions could exploit humanity for a simple reason: man feels a kind of inner unease when there are questions and there is no way to find the answer. Questions are there--man is born with questions, with a big question mark in his heart--and it is good. It is fortunate that man is born with a question mark, otherwise he would be just another species of animal.... I am reminded of my own childhood and so many things that will help you to understand the beauty of the question mark. And unless you understand the question mark as something intrinsic to your humanity, to your dignity, you will not understand what mysticism is. Mystifying is not mysticism. Mystifying is what the priests have been doing. They have taken your question mark.... This is what I was going to tell you. In my childhood they started giving me answers...because there was a special class for Jainism in the Jaina temple and every child had to attend it, one hour every evening. I refused. I told my father, "In the first place I don't have those questions for which they are supplying answers. This is stupid. When I have questions I will go and learn their answers and try to find out whether they are correct or not. Right now I am not even interested in the question. Who created the world? My foot!--I am not interested. I know one thing for certain: I have not created it. My father said, "You are a strange child. All the children from the family are going, from the neighborhood, everybody is going." Jainas tend to live in a neighborhood, a close-knit neighborhood. Minorities are afraid of the majority so they remain close to each other; it is more protective. So all the children of the neighborhood go and their temple is in the middle of the neighborhood. That too is for protection, otherwise it will be burned any day if it is in a Hindu neighborhood or in a Mohammedan [Muslim.-hh] neighborhood. And it will become difficult: if there is a riot you cannot go to your own temple. And there are people who will not eat without going to the temple. First they have to go to the temple and worship, then only can they eat. So Jainas live in small sections of the town, city, village, with their temple in the middle, and surrounding it is their whole community. "Everybody is going," my father said. I said, "They may have questions, or they are idiots. I am not an idiot, and I don't have those questions, so I simply refuse to go. And I know what the teacher goes on teaching the children is absolute rubbish." My father said, "How can you prove that? You always ask me to prove things; now I ask you, how can you prove what he says is rubbish?" I said, "Come with me." He had to go many times to many places; it was just that the arguments had to be concluded. And when we reached the school, the teacher was teaching that Mahavira had these three qualities: omnipotence, all-powerful; omniscient, all-knowing; omnipresent, everywhere-present. I said, "You have listened, now come with me to the temple." The class was just by the side of the temple, a room attached to the temple. I said, "Now come into the temple." He said, "But what for?" I said, "Come, I will give you the proof." What I had done was on Mahavira's statue I had just put a laddoo--that is an Indian sweet, a round sweet, just like a ball--I had put a laddoo on Mahavira's head, so naturally two rats were sitting on Mahavira's head eating the laddoo. I said, This is your omnipotent Mahavira. And I have seen these rats pissing on his head." My father said, "You are just impossible. Just to prove this you did all that!" I said, "What else to do? How else to prove it? Because I cannot find where Mahavira is. This is a statue. This is the only Mahavira I know and you know and the teacher knows. And he is omnipresent so he must be present here seeing the rats and what they are doing to him. He could have driven those rats away and thrown away my laddoo. I was not here. I had gone to pick you up--I had all the arrangements to make. Now prove to me that this man is omnipresent. And I'm not bothered at all--he may be. Why do I care?" But before a child even asks a question, you stuff his head with an answer. That is a basic and major crime of all the religions. This is what programming is, conditioning is. [person01] One of my father's friends--he was a very good ayurvedic physician--wanted to give me a certain ancient medicine made of a very rare kind of root. It is only found in the Himalayas and even there only in very rare places. It is called brahmaboti. The very name means that if you go through the whole ritual of taking that medicine...It is not just a pill you can swallow, it is a whole ritual. With that root juice they write OM on your tongue. It is so bitter that one almost feels like vomiting, and you have to stand naked in the river or in the lake, water up to your neck. Then the word OM will be written, while mantras are being chanted around you by three Sanskrit scholars. He loved me and he was sincere. It is said that if brahmaboti is used for any child before the age of twelve then he will certainly realize God in his life. Brahma means the ultimate, God. So he wanted to do the ritual on me. I said, "I am surprised that you have three sons and you have not tried the ritual on them. Don't you want them to realize God? I know those three scholars who will be chanting around me have their own children. Nobody has tried it on them, so why do you want me?" He said, "Because I love you, and I feel you may realize God." I said, "If you feel that, then I will realize without your brahmaboti. If brahmaboti helps people to realize God, you would have given it to your children. Just out of curiosity I am willing to go through the ritual, but I absolutely doubt that it has any value. If God could be realized by such a simple method that others do to you...I don't have to do anything--just stand in the water, maybe a little shivering, for as long as your mantras are being chanted...and just a little bitter taste, perhaps some vomiting, but these are not big things to achieve God. So I want it to be clearly understood: I am skeptical of it, but out of curiosity I am ready. Just I want to know, how much time will it take me to realize God?"(2) He said, "The scriptures don't say anything about it." I said, "In this life at least?" He said, "Yes, in the same life." So the ritual was arranged and I went through the whole torture. For almost one hour I was standing shivering in the water. And I used to think that neem, one of the trees in India, has the bitterest leaves, but this brahmaboti surpassed everything. I don't think anything can make you feel so bad. They wrote Om on my tongue; it was almost impossible to keep down because my whole stomach was upturned, and I felt like throwing up, but I did not want to disturb their ritual. And that was one of the parts of it, that you should not throw up; otherwise the whole ritual has gone wrong, nothing will happen. After one hour I was released from that ritual. I asked the old physician, "Do you really believe this kind of nonsense can help anything, that it has any relevance to the experience of God? Then why do people go on doing ascetic practices their whole life, self-torture, all kinds of disciplines?--this one hour torture is enough!" He said, "That creates a question in my mind too. I have been worshipping God my whole life, and when I was writing OM on your tongue I thought, `My God! Perhaps he will realize, and I have been worshipping God my whole life--morning and evening. I am tired of it but I go on, because unless I realize I am not going to stop.' " I said to him, "It is absolutely absurd. I don't see any logic in it except torturing small children for no reason at all." And I was not the only one, because when they arranged this whole ritual a few other rich people became aware and they had brought their sons. There were at least nine boys standing in a row in the river because whatever is done for one, is done for nine; it takes the same time. And I said, "I know these boys; most of them are idiots. If they can realize God, then I don't want to realize, because I don't want to be in heaven with these boys. They are so idiotic that even in school if they are in my class I change the class, I go to another subject. I have never been with those people. This is for the first time--in a great effort for God-realization--that I have been standing with them." Later a few of them dropped out before the middle school because they could not pass, and I asked the physician, "What is the matter? The people who are going to realize God could not pass a small examination! They have proved perfectly well that your ritual was an exercise in futility." He used to be angry but he was also considerate. He said, "You have a point there, but what can I do?" One of the boys is in jail; he murdered somebody. The three who failed just have small businesses. The remaining have disappeared in the big world. I went on asking him again and again, "What about those nine who were prepared for God-realization? Are you still thinking that they will realize God?" Finally he said, "You are so persistent that I have to tell you, I don't believe in this ritual; it is just that it is written in the scriptures. And seeing the failure of all these people...but don't tell it to anybody." I asked, "Why?" He said, "Be wise." I said, "You call it being wise?" "Don't tell it to anybody, because everybody believes in the scriptures. Why create enemies? Keep it to yourself." I said, "That is a way of lying." He said, "That's true, it is a way of lying." And I said, "All those scriptures continuously say `Be truthful.' So should I follow the scriptures or should I follow the masses?" He said, "You create dilemmas for me. I am old and tired, and I don't want to get into any trouble. Now this is a real dilemma for me. I cannot tell you to be untrue and I cannot tell you to be truthful. I cannot tell you to be untrue because it will go against the scriptures. I cannot tell you to be true because it will endanger your life. I can simply say, `Be wise.'" I said, "I used to think wisdom consists of being truthful, but here it seems that to be wise means to be political; to be wise means deceitful, uncaring about the truth, just thinking about your own comfort and respectability." [mystic16] --------------------- Komentar Hudoyo: (2) "Just out of curiosity I am willing to go through the ritual, but I absolutely doubt that it has any value." -- Suatu ketidakkonsistenan yang menarik; tujuannya adalah untuk memperoleh legitimasi dari agama Hindu bagi pencerahan terakhir yang kelak diklaimnya.